Devotional 02.11.2019

My name is Kait and through God’s grace and mercy, I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict.

Instead of giving my drunkologue, I will say that alcohol was the only solution I had found to be myself, not having an off switch. It was the instrument by which I managed my life. Still, I was lonely, bored to the extreme, irritable in my own skin, and always looking for more; something new, different, exciting. However, this ended up making my world smaller and smaller until I ended up in a heap of legal trouble, with health issues and a serious addiction problem that I could not solve on my own. I was absolutely miserable, yet I could not figure it out. The only outlet I had that worked pretty successfully up until this point was drugs and alcohol.

The people in the rooms of recovery spoke about things about myself that I had never told anyone. There were people there that understood me, my life, how I felt, without ever even having met me. I realized, for the first time in my life, that I was not alone (as I had so felt for the first 23yrs of my life). People talked to me, kindly, honestly, and without wanting anything from me.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (Proverbs 3:5)

Early in my recovery I started going back to church. A new church, a different church, and though it took me time to get plugged in and
truly get to know other people (only because of my own reservations), I started developing a deeper relationship with the Lord in a way that
I’ve never experienced before.

Through the many people God placed in my life along the way, I connected to him more deeply and, in turn, his children more deeply as well. This gave me a heart not only for my own life, but for the lives of others that I knew I had yet to meet. God showed me a path to get out of my misery and to find peace. Then he told me that I needed to assist others on their path as well, by sharing heart to heart and relating to them. The most important thing the Lord has guided me to do is to love without condition and to help others not feel alone in this big and confusing world. Coming up on eight years of sober living, this is what my purpose is and has been, ever-growing,
ever-changing, and always connected to Christ.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus god good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” (Ephesians 2:10)

Today the Lord is my solution and safety and empowerment to be able to live life on life‘s terms. This is not to say that life is easy or comes without many trials: only that he has given me grace to stand through anything and to stay sober doing so. God brought me to recovery, which brought me back to God’s loving embrace.

I do not have the capacity to run my own life on my own, and those people and those rooms supported me, taught me how to manage my life, and helped me to do so when I could not. When I just show up and be honest, the world around me changes.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10)

My message to you today is this: you have never been truly alone and you never will be. Your Father loves you beyond our capacity for understanding. Listen to how he is guiding you. You won’t regret it.

With all my love,
Kait

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